Dan, Tiffany and Petros Engelhardt

Happy Mother's Day??

2010-05-08T16:15:00.003-04:00

I've waited many years to be happy on Mother's Day. To not want to stay under the covers. To be able to face the joy that my friends and family were experiencing on their first Mother's Day with their brand new babes, or their excitement as they were looking at their protruding bellies and be happy for them. Truly happy for them. I feel joy, but I should be happy. I've got a perfect little boy who has been talking about the perfect Mother's Day gift for weeks. I am a mom.

I can't help but have a heavy heart today. I want to only feel the joy, but I keep thinking of all the women who are still waiting to feel this joy. The women who want to be happy for the women in their lives with new babies, or babies on the way, but are so burdened with their own sorrow, that they will have to fake it. I can't help but think about the women who will never get to raise their children. The women who make the most difficult decision that nobody should ever have to make. Today and tomorrow I will be thinking and hoping for these women. May they get through another day where women are celebrated for having children. May they get through another day where they will undoubtedly think about the children that they no longer get to parent.

Melkam Fasika!

2010-04-05T19:43:00.006-04:00

Or, Happy Easter. We had a wonderful Easter celebration. We started Saturday evening when my parents, and my sister, Robby and Allie came over to have yummy pizzas and dye eggs. (Which Allie refused to do, so Sara, Robby, my dad and Petros were on the egg-dying team)! After they left, Petros and I went to work! We baked a coconut cake that would later turn into a bunny, and prepared our creme brulee french toast for Easter morning at Auntie Melissa's. We all slept soundly, then got up pretty early to search for Petros' Easter basket (or Superman pail) and decorate the bunny cake. We had an awesome breakfast with family, then moved on to dinner with even more family. Oh, and did I mention that it was in the high 70s all day?

I Got a Comment

2010-03-28T20:37:00.003-04:00

that really rubbed me the wrong way at first. Then I started thinking about it, and the guy does actually have some valid points that I'd like to address. In a blog. Why? ~~Because it's my blog and I can.~~ Because he didn't leave an e-mail address for me to respond. Here's what he wrote:

We're happy for you and your family. I would have to add some of your points to the list of stupid things people say though. We have had an interracial family (Wife is Black and I'm White, our biological children are Hispanic (2)and Black (1))for many years and are also adopting from Ethiopia.

1. Were you not an advocate for racial equality before? Why do some white people feel it's their fight?

2. Yes, people stare, people make comments (mostly black people from our experiences) and for some reason people sometimes say really hurtful things to the kid involved. Ignore them. Being a mother or father is easy, being Mom or Dad is much more involved and it doesn't matter what race you are.

3. Does a blog like this serve the child? Or is it highlighting that the child is different and showing them off? In our family we know of our differences and do not shy away from them, but we see no need to highlight them to the world. Could the actions of showing or saying "Look, we adopted! He's different from us...aren't we kind???" encourage people to make snarky remarks?

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but having dealt with many of the same issues you all deal with for well over 7 years now I have come to learn that kids don't want to be different or a trophy or showcased. They want to be loved and cared for and treated like any other child you would have had biologically. Especially the older they get. Who wants to be labeled "the adopted kid"???

-Kory, Gainesville, VA

Dear Kory,

Thank you very much for being happy for me and for my family. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hardly ever have a chance to write on it anymore, and it's nice to know that people still check it out. If you read back to the beginning, you'll see that we actually started the blog long before our son came home, and long before we know we'd be adopting. To answer your questions:

1) I absolutely was all for racial equality before. Did I understand it like I do now? No. Did I know that inequality was as prevalent as it is before I had a black son? No. It is not only my fight as a white person; more importantly, it is my fight as a mom. My son is 4. I'd like to think that by the time he is able to "fight" for himself, he won't have to "fight" as much as people do right now. If I can fight a little of the battle for him, I certainly will. I also believe it to be my fight because I want him to be able to understand that he's got people in his corner when he's older. If he can reflect back to an experience that he had when he was 4, and think, "Wow, my mom really had my back before I fully understood what was going on" then I've done well. I also believe that it should be everyone's fight. Everyone who understands racial bias, inequality and prejudice should fight to educate others who are as ignorant as I was before Petros came into my life.

2) Thanks for the advice. For the most part, we do ignore them. However, when someone makes a really ignorant or hurtful comment, or asks repeatedly where his real mother is, I will not allow my son to watch me ignore it. It is my job as his mom to teach him how to appropriately handle these situations when ignoring is not the best approach. I also want to teach him that he is worth more than silence when someone is incredibly rude. Please don't mistake this for bitterness or being overly sensitive. Like I said, we do ignore most situations, and until recently, I didn't even know that Petros was aware of the stares or seemingly innocent comments.

3) Highlighting that he's different and showing him off? Really? This is a family blog. Yes, I do like to show him off. Look at him! I'm showing him off because he's handsome, amazingly smart, kind-hearted, and lovable. Not because he's got brown skin. Not because he joined our family through adoption. Like I said before, we started this blog to keep up with family members who don't live close. Before international adoption was ever on our radar. It's a family blog. I write about the stuff we experience. Good, and the not so good. You'll notice that nowhere on this blog, or any other public forum do I talk about why Petros joined our family-the experiences he had that led him to us. That is because I'm not into exploiting our kid. And as far as the "Look! We adopted! He's different! Aren't we kind!" comment- Perhaps you didn't happen to see this post.
Or, perhaps you've never met me, and you don't happen to know that every single time someone tells me how lucky my babe is, or how kind my husband and I are for adopting, we correct them. Every.Single.Time. Oh, and I can assure you that my child is not labeled, and he is not treated as "the adopted kid". By anyone.

Like I said, thanks for checking out my blog. I wish you and your family all the best on your Ethiopian adoption journey. It's a wild ride, and the best one we've experienced. We can't wait until it's time to do it all over again.

Tiffany

2010-03-16T18:32:00.001-04:00

"It Began with Bale" from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

Please Take 19 Minutes

2010-01-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

Update

2009-12-12T09:21:00.003-05:00

The Engelhardt clan has been busy, busy, busy. School continues to go well for Petros. He's made several friends, and has really learned how to be a 4-year-old boy. While I sometimes miss my little adult, I completely realize that he needed to be 4. Even if that means fooling around way more than he used to, making poop noises, and running all around the house while blowing into a plastic recorder! He's been working on reading and writing as evidenced a few pictures below. He'll begin working more on math next week. We really love that even though his school is very much a learn through play atmosphere, they value his ability to learn through traditional table-time methods. It's really a great balance for Petros!

Seven Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Adopting Transracially

2009-12-12T08:43:00.004-05:00

1. When you find a hair or skin product that works, stick with it.

2. The stupid comments that used to annoy you before will make your blood boil now that your child is home.

3. Your friends who have never adopted transracially will not understand some of your decisions. They will think that it’s overkill to have African American artwork scattered throughout your house. They won’t understand why you don’t want to subject your child to a classic movie in which the main character is made fun of because a part of his body is a different color than his peers, then accepted once they realize that the main character is of use to them. They won’t understand why you feel the need to send your kiddo to a more diverse school. Hopefully they will just consider the fact that you are more aware than they are on the subject and move on, but sometimes they won’t. Sometimes they’ll call you out, and say hurtful things. You never needed friends like this anyway.

4. You are now an advocate for racial equality.

5. Read Tim Wise's books.

6. You're going to get weird looks when you go out. Sometimes they're nice and accepting looks. Sometimes they're inquisitive looks. Once in a while, the looks are so hateful that your blood begins to boil. Figure out a way to deal with it before your child is home, because in the moment, you won't be able to think.

7. In the end, nothing else besides the relationship that you have with your family and your child matters. People say stupid things. People look at your family in the grocery store. Deal with it and move on. You are teaching your child how to handle things like this in the future.

Happy Birthday

2009-10-15T00:00:00.006-04:00

to my amazing husband! The best father and husband anyone could ever ask for. The rock of our family. The person who knows my mood before I do. The one and only human being that can make me laugh even when I want to cry. The only man I know who is capable of displaying tough love and downright silliness at the same time. Happy Birthday, Babe!

The Apples of My Eye

2009-09-21T18:01:00.003-04:00

What a beautiful weekend! It was sunny and in the high 60s to low 70s with a nice little breeze. We went to Apple Acres Farm to do our apple picking. Do you remember this post? It's hard to believe that he was that little!

You Can Take the Boy Out of Ethiopia......

2009-09-19T08:07:00.005-04:00

I'm sure I've mentioned before that when Petros lived in Ethiopia, they had goats (meich'chos). Quite a bit of the memories that he shares with us involve the goats or the cow. From what we gather, his oldest sister, Benshne, was in charge of the goats and Petros loved to play with them and to help out-one time he even lost one, and it made him cry!

I took Petros and his cousin Avery to Smiling Hill Farm yesterday for an ice cream and to play. They have several goats, a baby cow and ponies for kids to feed and pat. As I was getting them ready to leave, I heard a lady say, "Um, the goats are supposed to stay behind the gate, right?" A goat had broken out of it's humongous enclosure!

Without missing a beat, my child gets off the train that he was playing on (while all of us moms are standing around trying to figure out what to do) and herds it back behind the fence. We're all looking at each other in complete disbelief as he runs back to his train completely unaware that anyone thought what he did was pretty cool!

When we got in the car, I told Petros how cool it was that he did that, because nobody else knew what to do. His response: "It's not that big of a deal, Mommy. It was just one."

First Day of School

2009-09-09T21:07:00.006-04:00

Preschool that is! This day came with a lot of nervous anticipation for me. Until this day, Petros has been left with very few people that are not Dan or I. 4 people to be exact. All of them immediate family. Some may think that it's a little ~~insane~~ cautious, but that's the way I like it.

We chose a preschool that's curriculum includes many things that are important academically,and important to us as a family. They celebrate diversity better than any establishment I've seen here in Maine!

Petros was super excited to be there. This was several months in the making. At first, he told me daily about his plan to stay home by himself with Maggie, the computer, television and my iPhone as entertainment (which would double as a communication device should he need something)! By yesterday, he was ready to roll! He had a great day, and the teachers could not stop gushing about him when I picked him up.

Kancamangus Adventure

2009-09-09T20:33:00.007-04:00

This Labor Day, we decided to go with Dan's parents to the Kancamangus Highway in New Hampshire. It's a great spot that goes up into the White Mountains with all kinds of stops to hike or explore. We loved stopping on Loon Mountain where we took the gondolas up the mountain and hiked through some tight caves. (Or as Petros likes to call them, "hugging" caves).

Nolan Rand Stone

2009-09-09T20:19:00.004-04:00

So it's super late (a whole month!) but here are pictures of our nephew Nolan's Birthday! We all love him so much!

My Little Fish!

2009-07-20T18:54:00.001-04:00

Head over to my mother-in-law's blog to see a cute 30-second video of my little fish!

Ethiopian Culture Camp

2009-07-16T20:07:00.003-04:00

Last weekend, we headed to Rindge, New Hampshire for The East Coast Ethiopian Culture Camp. Not only was it great to see all kinds of Ethiopian kiddos running around playing, getting their hair braided, taking Amharic classes, having a blast at Field Day, etc., but we also got to take classes that ranged from hair care, to transracial adoption, to heritage tours. Perhaps the best part though, was the older kids panel. We were able to listen to teenagers recount their experiences growing up Ethiopian in America. I also can't forget the Ethiopian dancing both nights. There was fabulous music and lots of shoulder movement!! On the way home, Dan and I were nearly speechless for much of the ride. We didn't want the weekend to end! It definitely left us hungry for another visit to Ethiopia. (Hopefully sooner rather than later!)

You Are a Bad, Bad Blogger!

2009-07-07T18:26:00.005-04:00

Yeah, I pretty much know that I'm slacking. I'd love to say that I'll do better, but who knows if that's true or not. I'll try to do better. I always said that I wouldn't be one of those people who got her kid home then disappeared from the cyber-world!

We've had a busy couple of weeks. Here are some highlights:

Visiting the deer and other animals at the Maine Wildlife Park

Building sand castles
Playing in the yard with enormous beach balls that Nana likes to buy
Learning how to roller skate

Pushing Avery on the swings

Taking Daddy and Papa to a Red Sox game and to Addis Red Sea for Father's Day

Things continue to go well here in the Engelhardt household. We're as busy as ever, and spending as much time outdoors as we can. (I say 'as we can' because Maine has had considerably more rainy days than sunny days this summer.)

Great Weekend

2009-06-08T19:46:00.004-04:00

Earlier this year, we met some AWESOME people. Dan ran into the woman one day in the local grocery store. She asked if Petros was from Ethiopia, and explained that she and her husband were in the adoption process. Several months later, a friend of the family asked if we could connect via Facebook with a friend who was adopting from Ethiopia. Turned out to be the same people. This couple is super adorable, and happen to live in our same small town. What are the odds, right?! If you don't know them already, go meet Lisa and Nate, and follow along their journey as they wait for their sibling pair from Ethiopia!

Last week, Lisa invited our family to have lunch with her new friend Zewdu, who moved to the U.S. from Ethiopia, several years ago. Zewdu welcomed us in to her home, where she and her family had prepared a traditional Ethiopian meal (complete with Coffee Ceremony and all!!) for us. This was definitely the best Ethiopian food we've ever had. The Coffee Ceremony was amazing. Three cups of amazingly good coffee were served after her daughter roasted the beans on top of a faux grass rug for the occasion. I loved listening to the ladies banter in Amharic and Tigrinya over how to best carry out the ceremony. We all ate quite a bit. (One certain little boy ate so much that his belly hurt, and he fell asleep in the living room!)

All in all, it was the most wonderful Saturday I could imagine. We are so thankful to Lisa and Nate for inviting us to share the experience.

On Sunday, we headed to the Old Port Festival for some live music, shopping and all kinds of activities for the kids. Petros' favorite thing was this big bungee trampoline thing. He was going super high, and before we knew it, the entire crowd was cheering for him. They were encouraging him to jump higher and to do flips. As you can see, he was happy to oblige!

After a little encouragement, he had his picture taken with Curious George.
We ended the evening with a cookout at Dan's Aunt and Uncle's house. As you can see, Petros loved hanging out with their Great Dane.

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One Year Ago Today

2009-05-28T16:19:00.004-04:00

We got the best phone call in the whole wide world. I wrote about it here. Later, when I could actually think somewhat clearly, I wrote more about it here. After the call, I opened my e-mail to see these pictures:

The most handsome boy in the whole world-my son.

Happy Birthday, Petros!!!

2009-05-18T20:05:00.005-04:00

It's hard to believe that our little boy turns 4 today! We did most of our celebrating yesterday with our extended family. Petros was excited for everyone to come over and celebrate. We had a special day today with just the 3 of us.

We were recently looking at video of Petros from when he had only been home for a few weeks. It's so hard to belive that the little boy in the baby swing, telling Papa in his barely audible voice with that cute little accent, "want more" and exclaimed, "swimming!" when Nana asked him what he was doing in the swing is the same little man who now rules our household!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETROS!!!

Why I Love Almost-4-Year-Olds

2009-05-16T11:42:00.006-04:00

Maybe I can sneak just one bite of ice cream.....

And another.....

She'll never know.....

BUSTED!!!

We're Having a Visit Tonight!

2009-04-28T20:12:00.001-04:00

From the Tooth Fairy!!

Do you have $20?

2009-04-22T18:12:00.003-04:00

Go here. Now. Obviously this is a cause pretty close to our hearts. Really. This is less than a dinner out. Less than a pair of jeans. Less than a couple of drinks. Please consider donating and becoming part of Team Ethiopia. Since most of my Ethio adoptive families have already done this, I'm reaching out to my non-adoptive family and friends. Make sure to follow her links exactly to properly allocate the funds. Thanks!

Maine Maple Sunday

2009-03-22T20:28:00.004-04:00

Do you remember this post? You know, the one where I talk about painting a room for a child who we didn't know and crying over pancakes?! We said that it would be a way better time this year because someone would be joining us! It certainly was! Not only was Petros here this year, but Dan's mom, my parents and Melissa, Gavin and Avery joined us this year too. After we all recovered from our maple syrup high, we went to walk it off at the beach.

Day at the Museum

2009-03-20T19:22:00.004-04:00

Petros got a museum pass for Christmas, and we definitely put it to great use! You can catch us there pretty regularly. Of course we're only there when Petros isn't busy attempting to order coffee from our server at breakfast ("The kind with caffeine, please") or telling me very loudly in crowded places how much he loves soda and beer! (Please don't send me hate mail-I do make an attempt to keep him from ingesting these items, but he's been known to sneak a sip on occasion!)

First Hockey Game

2009-03-01T20:14:00.004-05:00

We were all pretty excited to enjoy the game, the fantastic seats, and the junk food. Mommy wasn't a big fan of being a nervous wreck and being acutely aware of where the puck was at all times. (As long as it wasn't on it's way to my boy's head, it was all good!) Daddy wasn't a big fan of mommy looking like a crazy person every time a puck went air born. Petros wasn't a big fan of the fights (but was happy to see that the players who broke the rules had to go to to the naughty box) or the constant checking each other right in front of us. He was, however, a huge fan of both a player and a referee giving him a puck. (After he got the second one, he turned around to give the little girl behind us his first one.)

What We've Been Doing

2009-02-18T18:36:00.003-05:00

So it's been brought to my attention that I'm now one of the world's worst bloggers. I'll work on it! It seems like our family is always on the go. This was the case prior to Petros being home, but I realize it so much more now. One thing that we're going to work on is sticking closer to home more often. We've got so many fun things to do right here, there isn't nearly the need to travel as much as we do. Check with me in a month to see how we're doing on this....I frequently drive to Target (which is 35-minutes from my house) for no good reason other than it's noon and not being out of the house yet is killing me! Maybe this spring or summer it'll be easier...I've got big plans for a huge organic garden complete with a vermi-composter and everything!!

What we've been up to:
Painting with the new desk and Crayola light brush;

Watching movies with Maggie;
Playing in the snow with Papa;
Enjoying Maine's seemingly never ending winter;

Learning at the Doctor's office that we've gone from the 8th percentile to the 95th;And enjoying our family pass to the Children's Museum.

6 Months

2009-01-28T20:18:00.003-05:00

I found myself tearing up today at the thought that just 6-months ago, we woke up very early in the morning to leave the city of Awassa after meeting Petros' first family, and made the trip to Addis Ababa. It was there that we anxiously dropped our bags in our room at the guest house and nervously asked the guard to escort us to the big kids house. I can still remember the steps from the front gate into the house. I remember vividly, Sister Tirhas taking one look at us and saying, "You're here for Petros. Peter is a very special boy to us." I'll never forget the sound of her voice as she led us down the hall to the room he was playing in and said, "Peter, your new mommy and daddy!" (We never really found out why they often called him Peter, we just assumed that they thought we may re-name him this since it's the more western version of Petros.) We often talk with Petros about that first hug that he gave us, and his cute little nervous smile. I think that it was Sarah who said it best: It feels like just yesterday, yet 20-years ago at the same time. Here is a video we took during our layover at the Frankfurt, Germany airport. It's so funny to watch this. He still seems so quiet and shy. The difference in his voice from then until now is amazing!

For Real!

2009-01-26T15:43:00.003-05:00

We have a birth certificate and a social security card! Not sure why, but for some reason I feel more official today! Like this validates my position as a mom! In just 2 short days, it will be 6-months since we met Petros. I know I've said it before, but I cannot imagine a more perfect child for our family. In some ways, we've contributed to his goofy, sarcastic personality, but he definitely came like this from the very beginning! Here are some pictures from a recent evening at Nana's. I swear, these faces are in no way his reaction to being home with us for nearly 6-months!

Update

2009-01-05T21:42:00.003-05:00

All is well here in the Engelhardt household! We haven't had much time to update because, well, we've been having too much fun! Christmas was a blast. We were overwhelmed with the happiness that comes along with having a 3-year-old at the most magical time of the year. It was such a great day. We started out with Petros looking at the cookie crumbs and note that Santa wrote to him, as well as the carrot crumbs from the reindeer eating the carrots too fast! Petros was super excited to learn that Santa favors his soy milk because it doesn't hurt his belly like cow's milk does. ("Just like my belly, Mommy!")

After all kinds of present-opening madness and great quality time with our family, it was great to finally be DONE with Christmas, put everything away (after spending a small fortune in batteries and trash bags!) and finally have my house back to some type of order!

Petros continues to blossom. He loves singing along with the radio to a pretty great variety of music. His Nana and I were recently in the car with Petros in the back seat when we heard him singing along with John Mayer's "Say" I liked Petros' version better though: "Sandwich you need to say; sandwich you need to say....." He continues to have a fascination with numbers, letters, and colors and is always looking for opportunities to learn. Top it all off with his recent obsession with wedgies, and I'd say we've got a pretty well-rounded kid!

Meaning Something

2008-12-15T21:09:00.002-05:00

As much as I enjoyed the holidays before Petros came home, (okay, except for last year-they were pretty miserable!) they've taken on a new meaning now! I'm so thankful for having him with us this year.

Black Kids in a White House.

2008-12-09T20:47:00.003-05:00

If you haven't read this article yet, you should. I read it quite awhile ago, and have wanted to post my thoughts ever since, but wasn't sure if I could get through a post without going into a rant or even thinking coherently, much less writing coherently.

We knew that adopting a child with a different color skin than us would be challenging at times. We knew that perfect strangers would ask us questions I'd hesitate to ask my best friend. We knew we'd get stares from the general public. What I didn't know was that it would affect me the way it does.

It seems as though everyone has an opinion. "He's an American now, treat him like one"; "There's no need to bring him to a barber shop specializing in African-American hair, bring him to any old place"; "Just try to be color blind-you're probably noticing his differences more than he is."; "What does it matter if I make a racially-insensitive joke? It wasn't about black people."

I'm trying very hard not to be some overly-sensitive adoptive mother who gives her kid a complex about his race. Really, I am. It is very difficult to do so, however, when we're confronted with it a lot more than I expected. It isn't always as blatant as someone using the "n" word right to my face. (Yes, this really happened!) It also isn't always as in-your-face as looking at my neighbors myspace page to find out that she has a confederate flag as her default picture. (And we live in the North!) Sometimes it's the innocent old man at the grocery store who tugs on my son's jacket, gives him a high-5, then asks me, "Did you adopt him?"; sometimes it's the sweet lady who says, "Well, God bless you for all that you've done. He doesn't even know how lucky he is. You could have just adopted a white baby from right here."; sometimes it's the barber who says, "So is he half-black, or African or something?", then goes on to say, "Didn't Angelina get one from over there?"; sometimes it's a close friend telling me that I'm over-sensitive because I hesitate to allow my son to watch a movie where reindeer are making fun of a fellow reindeer because of the color of his nose. You see, these things wouldn't necessarily be a big deal, if my son didn't tell us frequently that he wishes his skin were white, or ask me when his skin will be white like his daddy's. It also may not bother me as much if these comments weren't taking place right in front of my son. It's almost like people honestly believe that he doesn't understand the general idea of what they're saying. I do not want my son to ever believe, even for a minute, that we have to explain or defend our family. I also don't want him to think that he ever has to thank us for what we've done. He's not the lucky one.

We knew that bringing home a child from Ethiopia would present some unique opportunities for growth as human beings, and as a family. I guess I could look at all of these comments and stares as opportunity for growth. If wanting to expose my son to people of color on a more frequent basis, ensure that I'm sending him to the right schools, engross him in not only his American culture, but also expose him to his Ethiopian roots, and not have to constantly explain our family to the general public makes me over-sensitive, then I guess it's a label that I'll take. With pride.

TOMS

2008-12-02T20:12:00.002-05:00

Go here. Buy shoes. Seriously. When we were in Ethiopia, we were amazed at the lack of shoes. Children in the city didn't have shoes. Children living rurally didn't have shoes. It sticks out in my mind whenever I think about our travel. Especially when I look at the bottom of my son's feet. This is such a great opportunity to do some Christmas shopping and to help out a child in Ethiopia!

Today

2008-11-28T11:43:00.004-05:00

Marks 6-months since we received the call!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Final!

2008-11-25T17:06:00.004-05:00

We had our finalization ceremony yesterday. The State of Maine really does it right in November! As part of national adoption month, they rented out the Children's Museum around the corner and held the ceremony there. After the judge did his thing, they gave a bunch of toys to Petros and let him go play for a couple of hours!

Grammy, Nana and Papa, Uncle Gavin, Auntie Melissa and Avery joined us at the museum to celebrate and play!

In the News

2008-11-17T16:52:00.005-05:00

I'm pretty sure the little town we've called home for the past 3-years rarely makes local news, much less national news. Until today. "How exciting!" One may say. I beg to differ. We didn't make national news because of something cool being discovered here on our soil. We didn't make the news because a famous person just purchased a house here. We certainly didn't make the news because of our diverse population. Nope. We made national news today because some pot-dealing idiot who owns a store not even 5-minutes from our house decided to post a sign in his store encouraging people to pay a dollar to post bets on when our President-elect would be assassinated. It gets better. I was absolutely shocked to hear this. I was almost disappointed to see that his store was closed today (guess he had to move all of his marijuana plants from the apartment above his store). I had it all planned out. I was going to go in on my way to work, pour like a million large coffees with extra cream and sugar in each of them, then after he rang me up, I was going to suddenly remember about his sign, then give him a piece of my mind just before leaving (without paying for the $30 worth of coffee that I'd just wasted!) Dan was less than impressed with my revenge, but I would have proud for the rest of my day!

More importantly, it just made me realize how much room for improvement my little town, my little state, and our country has. It really has me worried that my son will at some point, have to go out and face this world that is still full of prejudice.

Lovin' the Country

2008-11-09T18:22:00.003-05:00

We went for a visit to Big Papa's (Dan's grandfather's) house today in Naples, where Dan and I grew up. It was a great visit!

He was able to try out his new car that Papa got from a friend who didn't need it any longer;

He got a fun ride on Big Papa's 4-wheeler;and had a great time driving Big Papa's tractor!

Yes We Can!!

2008-11-04T23:12:00.003-05:00

So I'm super tired and I've got to be up in less than 5 hours for work, but I couln't dream of going to bed early tonight....and this is so worth it!

In addition to truly believing that this man was the best canidate for Presidency, what a great role model for all of our children. What a great example my son will have for at least the next 4-years. We've struggled to ensure that Petros has role models of color to look up to; I can't imagine a better one. He was so excited to go vote with us this afternoon, and kept asking where Obama was. Tonight when he told me, as he does each night, that he liked my white skin, his daddy reminded him that Obama has brown skin, and Petros smiled. I cannot wait until he fully understands the magnitude of this! My son lives in a world where the President of The United States has brown skin.

The Cutest Pumpkin in the Patch

2008-10-31T22:05:00.003-04:00

I've been a pretty bad blogger as of late, but life is busy!! We had a fabulous Halloween. Petros has had a count down for the past week. This morning as I was getting ready to leave for work (at 5:00 a.m.), He sat up in bed and yelled, "Halloween today!" This boy is amazing. His English improves daily and he's always coming up with new phrases. He still makes little mistakes when he's talking fast (like calling the kitchen a chicken or a spider asparagus), and he always laughs immediately following!

He loved watching me paint his face orange. Then again, he loves any time he's looking in the mirror!

Pretty sure he was fed up with pictures and ready to go get some candy. Want to hear the irony? The boy hates candy! (With the exception of lollipops!)

So ready to enjoy his lollipop and go to bed!

I'm It!

2008-10-13T19:16:00.005-04:00

Seven random facts, huh?! Thanks, Lori! I'm a pretty random person, so this should be easy!

1. I absolutely have to have milk with just about each meal. Exceptions are only at a restaurant (because I'll be drinking wine!) or if I'm at someone's house and it is not being offered as a choice.

2. I love to sing, but unless you are my son or my dog, you'll probably never have the unfortunate experience of hearing it!

3. I'm a pretty even-tempered person, but if someone (even in a momentary lapse of tact) says one thing about a child who was adopted as not being one of "their/his/her/MY own", I'm prepared to take their head off. With joy.

4. I, like Lori, need to turn my normally cranked radio down in parking lots. Not because I can't see though. Because I don't want people to know what I'm listening to!

5. I don't think it's at all weird to eat a "dinner food" (pizza, pasta, chicken) for breakfast, but I take great exception to eating a "breakfast food" for dinner.

6. I constantly have dreams (like, nightly) that I'm in a car, and responsible for controlling it, but am always unable to for one reason or another. Sometimes it's because I'm in the backseat and can't reach the pedals or the steering wheel; sometimes it's because there is a hill that is really a 90-degree angle and impossible to get up; sometimes I'm doing everything right, but I can't get it to move.

7. Please don't judge me for this-I can't explain it or understand it myself. Since high school I've had a huge crush on Jay Leno. Until now, I'm pretty sure only Dan knew about this. Now the whole world knows. I'm a weirdo.

Okay...I have to tag 7 people. I know a lot of you have just returned home with your new babes, so if you don't get to it, don't worry. I'll just be offended and quit reading your blogs altogether!

1. Melissa
2. Megan-once you return from vacay, of course!
3. Caroline
4. Sarah
5. Jess
6. Tania
7. Sadie

A Bushell and a Peck

2008-10-08T19:53:00.003-04:00

This past weekend we went to Apple Acres Farm with Nana& Papa, Auntie Melissa and Avery, Deidre and Dave and Nicole, Dan and Callahan. We all had a ton of fun. We all thought that Petros' favorite would be the apple slingshot, the scarecrow making, or perhaps the maze. Nope. His favorite was the actual apple picking. The best part? He HATES apples!! This kid never ceases to amaze us.

Although it was not nearly as fun as choosing the most perfect apple to put in the bags, the slingshot was fun!

I swear that I didn't dress him up for cute photo opportunities. He's quite particular about his clothing, and insisted on wearing this outfit!

Boiling.

2008-10-01T02:15:00.002-04:00

My blood, that is! We've been hit with many insensitive (or downright stupid) questions/comments during this adoption process. It's cool, I almost expect it at this point-we deal with it and move on. Today, a coworker said to me, "See, it doesn't matter that you couldn't have one of your own. " My own. After I picked up my jaw from the floor, I explained to her that we, in no way, consider our son less than our own. Or something like that. I'm not upset that this particular person said this to me; I'm upset that a good portion of the general public believes that adoption is a great second choice for having your own. This terminology, more than anything else, makes me cringe and makes me sick to my stomach. If you've ever spent more than 2 minutes with this gorgeous, wacky, quirky little boy, you're left with no doubt that this kid is our own!!!

Today

2008-09-26T21:35:00.004-04:00

This little girl turned one!!!

I can't believe that Avery is a whole year old today! She is seriously one of the best little girls in the whole world, and we feel privileged to call her our niece! Check out her parents blog for a cute video montage of her first year!

Reflections

2008-09-20T19:34:00.004-04:00

Today, we spoke at an informational session offered by our agency and our home study agency for people who are thinking about adopting. We were very glad to do it, as we love both agencies and the work that they do! We were asked to speak about our decision to adopt, the decision to adopt from Ethiopia, the dossier process, the wait, the referral, our trip, and the adjustment so far.

I've never really sat down to think about the process from the beginning, all the way to having Petros home. It was just a little over a year ago that we sat in the same room at the same info session; it was just over a year ago that we wrestled with our decision to switch from the Colombia program to the Ethiopia program. Shortly after that, we began to inform our friends, family and co-workers about our upcoming adoption. It seems to me, that the time has actually flown by when I think of all the events that led us to Petros. I remember feeling like this was never going to happen, and that is was taking so long! I know now that every step took exactly the amount of time that it was supposed to take. Looking back, I feel so guilty that I was wishing away the time that Petros had with his first family; the precious time that a man who would soon make the most difficult decision of his life had left with his son.

I look forward to the day that Petros fully understands the journey that his forever family embarked on to bring him home to us, and even more, I look forward to the day that he truly understands the love that his first family had for him then, and has for him today.

We've been thinking even more than we usually do about Ethiopia and Petros' first family these days, and we can't wait to go back!

Silly Petros!

2008-09-16T09:29:00.008-04:00

Things continue to very well here in the Engelhardt house! Petros loves to be silly, and being silly is way better if it's captured with photos or video! He is a ham to say the least. He loves to find new ways to fool around with us, and to trick us. Recently, we were all laying in bed, and he started to tickle us, while saying something that sounded like, "donmesshroun" he kept saying it and laughing, so we figured it must be something that meant 'tickle' in his native language. It wasn't untill later in the day that we figured out what he was saying: "don't mess around!" He must have heard one of us saying it while we were tickling him! He never ceases to amaze us!

Here he is with his newest discovery-cereal!

He's got to get all of the milk!

He's learned to use the computer all by himself, and loves to play his favorite game online! Memory!

He and Maggie have become best buds for sure!

At a recent reception in Mass for one of the nurses at Horizon House

Tour de France 2023

2008-09-16T09:29:00.006-04:00

Petros has decided that in addition to being the next David Ortiz, Laurence Maroney, or David Beckham, he'd like to follow in the footsteps of Lance Armstrong. Here he is practicing.

On his tricyle first.

Now on his big boy bike.

No hands!

Happy Enkutatash!!

2008-09-11T10:26:00.002-04:00

Or Ethiopian New Year! Today begins the year 2001 in Ethiopia! They still use the Julian calendar which consists of 12 months with 30 days each, and a 13th month with 5 or 6 days, depending on whether it is a leap year or not. To celebrate, I'll be making some of Petros' favorite Ethiopian dishes, shiro and doro wat. Seriously, the kid gets SO excited to eat these! I haven't tried making injera yet, but the local Ethiopian/Eritrean restaurant sells it, and Melissa and Gavin's neighbors are from Ethiopia, and have given us some, so we've been lucky!

A clip from last year's millennium celebration in Ethiopia

Bust It!

2008-09-07T21:41:00.002-04:00

Check out my mother-in-law's blog for the cutest video ever. This is how silly he gets after a long day with no nap!

Meich'chos and Makenas

2008-09-04T21:07:00.010-04:00

Petros has been doing awesome, and we are having a blast. I love being home with him, and although I'm looking forward to my first girls' night in a couple of weeks, I can't imagine being away from him for more than a few hours!

He continues to impress us with his ability to pick things up so quickly. Sadly, he is starting to drop a lot of his native language. He opts for the English version of most words that he knows in both languages. As impressive as it is, it is bittersweet to see it all go. Thank goodness for his cute little accent!

Yesterday, my mom came over, and we went out for the day. On the way home, we stopped at Smiling Hill Farm so that I could buy my milk. (I've been buying it there for a long time, and this used to be a quick trip before I had him to go with me!) They have a very small petting zoo, and some wooden trains, airplanes, and trucks for the kids to play on. He always has a blast feeding the meich'chos (goats) and ponies, and playing on the 'makenas'(cars) and 'airoplans'!

Were You Born In September?

2008-09-03T19:42:00.003-04:00

Please check out this video. If you were born in September, please consider participating. If not, please consider donating $33. While in Ethiopia, we saw first-hand the devastating effects of not having clean water and it is something that I'll never forget.

You can check out the website here.

Petros' New Favorite Video

2008-08-25T18:38:00.002-04:00

My boy LOVES this video. He'll ask for it by standing in front of the computer dancing and swinging his elbows wildly to each side. I'll try to get it on video!

Please Don't Let Summer End!

2008-08-23T21:52:00.002-04:00

I stole this picture from my mom's blog. Seriously, I just love seeing my little boy in the pool! We hope for just a couple more weeks!!

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Sickis!

2008-08-21T21:32:00.003-04:00

We've been having a blast since we arrived home from Ethiopia. Petros is everything we could have hoped for and ten times more! He's learning more about his new home, family and language daily, and is constantly surprising us with his ability to absorb new knowledge quickly.

Counting has become a ritual with several daily activities. This includes counting when reading books, eating dinner, and even counting the steps it takes for us to strap him into his car seat. He's now able to comfortably count to 100 (with slight prompting on a few numbers) and sounds really funny and cute when doing it. As you can see in the title of this post, he pronounces the number six as 'sickis'. On his way to 100, we always have a good laugh when he reaches the sixties, and has to say "sickisty-sickis!"

We attended an outing last weekend at a friend's lake house and had the opportunity to interact with several other adoptive families with children from Ethiopia. More importantly, Petros had a chance to play with the 10 or so Ethiopian children that were there. We all had a great time, and can't wait to connect with more families in our area!

We've both been thinking and talking a lot about many of the older children available for adoption that we spent time with in Ethiopia. They were all such incredible kids, and we want to do anything we can to help them to be matched with families in the US. If any of our blog readers adopting through WHFC is considering an older child, or just wants to know more about our experience, please feel free to e-mail us.

USA Today Article

2008-08-18T16:36:00.002-04:00

During our birth family visit, we traveled to a very rural town called Arbegona. This is where Petros was born. On the way, there is a city called Awassa, which we stayed overnight in. During our stay, we met some people from USA Today. They were shooting footage for this article. Please read it, and watch the video. I know that many people reading this blog have had their lives personally touched by the daily struggles of those living where our children were born and already contribute what they can to Ethiopia. If you have not seen this, there is no way to accurately describe this situation, which is why I typically don't even try. If you are looking for a place to donate money this year, please keep Ethiopia and it's people in your thoughts. There are several reputable organizations to consider.

Random Travel Picture

2008-08-18T14:17:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite pictures from the grueling trip back to the US. This was taken in Bole Airport, long long before we knew how exhausting it would be!!!

Beaches, Vaccinations, Post-placemement Visits and a Facelift

2008-08-15T19:55:00.003-04:00

Petros had his first trip to the beach the other night. What a blast! We went in the evening, so that we could put just our feet in the water, and walk along the beach in the company of all kinds of dogs! (Sadly, Maggie didn't make the trip, but I promised her that she could go next time!) Petros had all kinds of fun kicking a baseball down the beach, running along the water (all the while, looking back to make sure we were still chasing him!), and riding on Papa's shoulders.

Earlier in the day was not so much fun! We visited the doctor, where we learned that the ca ca samples that were so much fun to collect were not labeled properly and would need to be re-collected....oh, and Petros had to get 3 shots in the thighs, where where he immediately cried while his daddy had to hold him...very sad. He quickly recovered though, when the medical assistant gave him a prize! Hopefully there will be another prize for our appointment in 6 weeks!

Yesterday, our social worker came for our first post-placement visit. She was pleased with how well he seems to be adjusting. Seriously, the boy has been nothing but a pleasure! We have had no tantrums or meltdowns. (Yet!) There have been tiny glimpses of naughty behavior, but it all seems to be just playfulness, and is always followed by sad heavy eyes and kisses!

Overall, I really believe that Petros is the perfect addition to our family. He is just as quirky as his mom and dad!

Lastly, feel free to tell me how much you love the 3rd column that I added to my blog!

Life is Good....

2008-08-09T06:41:00.003-04:00

and busy! I always used to wake up fairly early, and I hated it. As we get our bodies used to EST again, and our boy adjusts to it and stays in bed a little later than 5:00 am, I'm finding that I like to wake up and have some quiet time to myself to clean, stalk blogs, hang out with my animals who get much less attention now, or just sip coffee.

Petros is doing awesome! We had his first doctor's appointment where he laughed at his TB test, and smiled at the phlebotomist who was going ga-ga over him during his blood draw. He tried to take the doctor's shoe off, and impressed him with his fast ball skills. He also thought me scooping his ca ca into a little container to be tested for parasites was quite amusing!

We're bonding quite well, too. As much as he loves his whole family, we really think that he's getting that mom and dad are his go to people. Last night we went shopping with Nana, Melissa, Gavin and Avery for some much needed Chuck Taylor's, flip flops, lounging shoes, and some gym pants and shirts. He really loves his new family and dishes out smiles and cute comments constantly.

Although he doesn't understand what we're saying yet, and we haven't shown him the pictures, we talk frequently about his Ethiopian family and how much they love him. We're excited for the day that he can understand us and take part in the conversation.

It's nearly 7:00 am, I guess I had better go prepare for the day. We've got an exciting weekend ahead of us! We're off to an African festival today with our travel buddies who picked up their 4-year-old daughter from horizon house who coincidentally is from Arbegona, the same town Petros is from. Tomorrow, we're off to celebrate Grampy's birthday, and welcome Papa home from a week-long business trip!

God Bless The iPod!

2008-08-04T13:46:00.004-04:00

The first night Petros spent with us in Ethiopia, he discovered the iPod, and absolutely loved it! It served as a great form of entertainment on the flight home as well.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We Made It!

2008-08-04T06:23:00.003-04:00

It is so surreal to think that just a few days ago, we were in Ethiopia, and just a couple of weeks ago, we were in this house waiting to leave, kid-free!

We love him so, so much! I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect little boy! We are all doing great, and adjusting well. The time change is a little much for Petros, and we've been waking up pretty early, leaving mommy and daddy (or, as Petros says, "Datty") pretty tired. It's all good though, because who wouldn't love waking up to play with such an awesome little guy?!

We've been having some changes-of-heart with the whole name change thing. I absolutely love the name Bennett, and want to give him the option of having a more typical name once he is older, but he identifies himself as Petros. It seems a little mean to just go and change it. We're still undecided, and would love advice from parents who did or did not add to names or change them once they brought their toddler home.

I can't wait to update everyone personally, but thought I'd leave you with a couple of pictures in the meantime!

Like I said, things may change!!

2008-08-01T08:13:00.001-04:00

Ok, so Dan, Tiff and Petros will be arriving in Maine at 6:45PM after all! They were able to find a better flight arrangement! Yay:-)

Change of Plans

2008-07-31T17:52:00.003-04:00

Due to the recent strike going on with Lufthansa Airlines, Dan, Tiffany and Petros will not be returning to Maine as planned on Saturday at 6:45PM. They have had to rebook on another airline and tentatively will be arriving back in Maine on Saturday night at 10:30PM. This of course could all change again and we're disappointed that we have to wait longer to meet Petros(which we've been told is pronounced pay-tros), but all that is important is that he will be with us all very soon forever!!

They have him!!!

2008-07-28T20:33:00.002-04:00

I am happy to report that Dan and Tiffany met their son today. He was very happy to see them and has started attaching to them very quickly, giving them lots of hugs and kisses. He is learning some English and says Mommy, Daddy, Car, Watch and Pee! Dan and Tiffany have said that this is the trip of a lifetime and that he is cuter and sweeter in person than any picture could convey! They will be spending the full day with him tomorrow and will hopefully take custody at that point. All of us at home are thinking of them constantly and have no idea how we are possibly going to make until Saturday night to meet Bennett Petros!! I will post any pictures they may forward, but I am sure they will have lots of pics and video to post once they return.

We're Off!!

2008-07-25T08:50:00.002-04:00

We are on our way to Ethiopia! We take off at 1:00 our time. We won't land in Addis until around 8:30 p.m. their time Saturday night. (Around 1:00 Sat. afternoon out time.) From there, we'll go to the guest house to sleep. (No meeting Petros yet!) Sunday morning before dawn, we rise to take a trip to Awassa to meet his birth dad. (Still no meeting Petros!) We won't return from Awassa until Monday afternoon, when we will finally be able to meet our son!!

Melissa will be updating our blog with any e-mails that I am able to send to her. If you plan on meeting us at the jetport, (Saturday the 2nd at 6:45 p.m.) please make sure to check this, as she will update with any known delays!

Priceless

2008-07-22T18:34:00.004-04:00

Thank you so much, Katy, for this amazing video! It is so great to be able to watch my son move and smile and wave.

My Slideshow 7/22/08

Congratulations!

2008-07-21T22:07:00.006-04:00

To Lori who just found out she is leaving to pick up her daughter on August 8! I'm sad to be missing her in Addis, but cannot wait to meet her daughter!

Getting Ready

2008-07-21T22:07:00.003-04:00

Remember when I said that I work best under pressure? Bring it on! We've been busy packing, securing donations, nesting and attending last minute doctor's appointments. Not sure if I've kicked into mom mode or what, but all of a sudden I'm a big fan of having a ton to do in very little time! (I know that I should enjoy it while it lasts, because I'm sure I'll be eating my words in just a few weeks!) Here are some pictures of his room. It's also serving as our packing headquarters right now, so I had to get ridiculously close to my subjects in order to avoid suitcases. His room is small, but not as small as it may look in the pictures!

Our Son

2008-07-16T21:20:00.002-04:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Legal

2008-07-16T14:37:00.001-04:00

We are legally the parents of Bennett Petros Bekele Engelhardt! More to come later.....(yes, including pictures!)

Proud Mama!

2008-07-14T20:50:00.002-04:00

We received some more pictures of Bennett P. tonight. In addition to the pictures, the lady taking them said this:

Hi,
P. is adorable! My pictures don't do him justice, but J. and C. in my group got some of him smiling b/c I was tickling him at the time! If you haven't received these yet, they'll be coming soon I'm sure. He's not that into candy, but if you tickle him, you'll get a smile every time!
He is a favorite among the older girls in the house b/c of his sweet nature. You guys are very lucky, congrats!

I couldn't be happier with this news. I wonder how long it will be before I have to send the girls away! I'm hoping for more pictures and a travel date soon!

Quiet...But Not Really

2008-07-11T08:52:00.005-04:00

Things have been very busy, but quiet at the same time. We've been anxiously preparing our house for a 3-year-old. I guess you could say that we're 'nesting'? As a first-time-mom, it's strange to try to think of everything that we'll need to do for a toddler. With a newborn, you know that there will be a lot of feeding, changing, napping, et cetera; not so sure about the toddler stuff. We know that we need to child-proof-but how much? As my to-do list grows and grows, I'm starting to get more and more excited for his arrival.

I'd love to break it down into short goals to be accomplished weekly, but we have no idea how much time we have. (I'll gladly take a sooner travel date with less time to prepare. I've always worked much better under pressure!)

My goals this week:

1. Finish his room. (I think all I need to do is find curtains and a toy box)

2. Find a pillow. (Kind of freaking out about the pillow! Can anyone recommend a good one for a toddler?)

3. Finish his birth family letter.

4. Start his birth family photo album.

5. Paint the mail box post. (Has nothing to do with his arrival, I know; but I bet there will be no time for that when he gets here!)

Feel free to pester, nag, and encourage me to finish these things by next Friday!

I say that things are relatively quiet because we have no new travel news. Our agency does not tell us when we have a court date, which I like. They will simply e-mail us once we have passed court, and tell us when to be there! For someone like me, this is perfect. We do know that things are moving along, because we got a second travel packet a couple of weeks ago. Urban legend has it, that when you get the second travel packet, you at least have an impending court date. (I hope this is true!) We also know that they have been processing our paperwork because they found out that our fingerprints and other important paperwork for Bennett's visa were not at the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia as they should have been. After contacting our home study agency and the local CIS office, this has been remedied...

A travel group left yesterday, and another returns today, so our little guy got some more photos of his new mom and dad, as well as some fun little gifts. His new mom and dad should get some photos of him early next week, too! Here are some photos of our life now!

Our niece, Avery. I really have never met such a happy, go-lucky baby. I get to babysit her a few times a week after work, and seriously, those work days drag by so, so slow because I know that I get to hang out with such a fun little girl after work!

This is our other niece, Allie and my dad. It's so, so cool to watch my parents as grandparents, and my sister as a mom. Allie is really starting to develop her own personality, and it's really neat to see her grow from week to week!

Let's hope that the girls don't grow too much before Bennett can come home to meet them!

It Was a Good Day....

2008-06-24T18:30:00.002-04:00

I know I've been slacking on my blogging lately, but there just hasn't been anything worth blogging about. Until yesterday. It started off as kind of a yucky day, because we found out that our babe was in another section of Horizon House that some kids go to when all of the beds in the main house are full. We're not sure, but we were told that this other house was several miles from where the travel group was. I was pretty bummed because in this travel group were 2 people who were bringing him his care package and the photo album I made for him. (Thanks, Trisha and Kelley!) I was pretty sure that we weren't going to get photos, or be sure that he received these items.

Unexpectedly, we struck gold! (At least we felt like we did!) We got a whopping 7 photos of our precious son!! I don't think I've been this happy since our referral day! He is so perfect and so handsome. I can't wait until the day I can share him all over blogland, and for the day I can scoop him up!!

Congratulations!

2008-06-09T21:03:00.003-04:00

To my girl Lori and her family!! I am so excited that The Perfect Princess Parker and Bennett are chillin' out in the big kid's house together! We are so excited that they finally know who their little girl is!

Fate?

2008-06-08T08:49:00.002-04:00

I think that I mentioned in another post that I've never believed in fate, love at first sight, or the 'meant to be' stuff. Call it skeptical, call it cynical, call it whatever you want; I've just never believed in it.

Until now. (Maybe!)

I may be grasping at straws here (and part of me thinks that I am!) but there are so many little tiny, seemingly insignificant "signs" or coincidences linking us to our little man!

His birthday is one day before my nieces birthday; I was wearing the same shirt the day that my sister went into labor as the day we got "the call"; we attended our first WHFC info session exactly one year before his birthday and we got the call on Lisa's birthday.

Okay, I realize that I may very well be going off the deep end, but there is an increasing side of me that really thinks all of these things are really linking us!!

New Ethiopia Adoption T-Shirts

2008-06-04T14:31:00.006-04:00

Check out these great new t-shirts designed to celebrate Ethiopian adoption! They were designed by a fellow WHFC adoptive parent, and these and others are available for sale at: http://www.zazzle.com/adopttees/products

The Shopping Begins!

2008-05-31T22:22:00.003-04:00

Nana, Auntie Melissa, Avery and I went shopping for Bennett today. We've waited several months to purchase clothing, and since we finally know who our son is, we decided to make up for lost time by shopping!! Man, this is going to be one well-dressed little boy!!

We have been pretty much floating on air since Wednesday. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking, "I hope this isn't a dream!" I quickly picture his adorable little face, and fall back asleep. A co-worker who witnessed "the call" and me looking at his face for the first time told me earlier this week that she had witnessed the meaning of love at first sight when she saw me look at his picture for the first time. I can honestly say that I never believed in things like love at first sight or fate until I saw a picture of MY SON!! I knew that Dan and I were in love with our child before our referral, but I cannot believe how much my love has grown for this little boy that I only have 2 pictures of since Wednesday. I can't even begin to imagine the love that I will feel when we actually get to hold him for the first time!

Okay, enough with the sappy mom stuff! Can you believe the amount of clothing that he scored in just one day!!

Details

2008-05-28T22:38:00.002-04:00

Okay....I know I'm a tease. I've been waiting for this day forever and I just couldn't wrap my mind around much today. I've been misspelling things, dropping things, driving all wrong-you get the picture!

We received "the call" (or, I should say, "calls") today. Dan was at home when our social worker called with the news. The funny thing is, she has a second job, and identified herself as "Erin from X company" (Not our agency!!) She was also calling on her personal cell phone which is not a number that we recognized as one of the few that could be her!! After she explained why she was calling, he asked her if she could call me at work to conference. Since she was not in the office, she couldn't do it. Him being the PERFECT guy that he is, told her to hang up with him and to call me at work!

Meanwhile, I'm at work (at a busy psychiatric hospital no less!) I am away from the unit, and walk onto it to a co-worker telling me that I have a call on hold. She is a friend of mine, and knows that I get nervous with calls on hold!! She has this strange calm look on her face, but doesn't take her eyes off me. When I tell her that I get nervous, she asks why! Then says, "Oh yeah, Ethiopia!" (Remember, we've had conversations about this!!) She later told me that she knew the entire time!

The conversation went like this:

Tiffany: "Hi, this is Tiffany"
Erin: "Hi Tiffany, this is Erin from Wide Horizons"
T: "Hi Erin" (hands begin shaking, voice is getting ready for the cry)
E: "Do you have a minute (insert long pause) I have some really exciting news for you!"
T: "Yes! IS THIS IT!!!????? Oh my gosh, Erin, is this really it?!"
E: "This is it....I have a little boy to tell you about!"
T: "This is it? I have a son?!"
E: "Yes, and wait until you see his pictures, he is SO SO cute, Tiffany!"

Meanwhile, co-worker goes and gets everyone from the meeting I was late for and screams, "Tiffany has a baby!!"

I finish up the call with our phenomenal social worker who must think I'm a crazy lady at this point. Surely the woman on the other end of the phone who is in complete denial that she is getting THE CALL isn't the same one that's been calling regularly begging for tidbits of information on her "place on the list", calling to update contact information regularly, or just e-mailing to make sure that she hadn't fallen of the list!!

I call Dan instantly as all of the people in attendance at the aforementioned meeting gather around my computer as Dan and I simultaneously click on the attachments to view his photos. Everyone was cheering, hugging and crying! It's the best feeling in the world to know that I have a son, and that everyone is psyched for him to come home!

We celebrated tonight with Dan's family who is just as excited as we are. We talked with our friends and family all night long. The excitement is overwhelming. I think that I spoke to my mother via telephone and e-mail about 100 times today!!!

Best. Day. Ever!!

2008-05-28T18:04:00.001-04:00

We received "The Call" today!!!

We are beyond excited and are completely in love with our SON!!!!!

More details to come!

Happy Birthday to.....

2008-05-19T20:52:00.011-04:00

ALLIE MAY FITZCHARLES!!

She was born today at 4:15 p.m. Sara went into labor at around 3:00 this morning, and we all met at the hospital shortly after that. It was a long day for everyone (especially Sara and Robby!) but so worth the wait! She weighed in at 7-pounds, 5-ounces, and is 20-inches- long.

I had seen one live birth before (the coolest thing ever!) but nothing prepared me for watching my sister go through this! It was the most breathtaking thing to watch my niece come into the world.

She is so beautiful (I've already nicknamed her my little birdie because of the way she lifts her head up and opens her cute little mouth!) Sara and Robby both did a fantastic job, and they will be wonderful parents!

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T21:31:00.003-04:00

Have I mentioned that I have the best husband and mother-in-law ever?! Check out my mother's day gift!

I love them, and I love this necklace! Get yours here!

Babies, Waiting, and Referrals.

2008-05-10T08:11:00.002-04:00

Go congratulate Sadie, Eric and Anna on their new family member, Carver. He is absolutely stunning, and is the perfect addition to their family.

Also, check out Jamie's blog to hear about their referral of a 2-year-old boy from Horizon House! Geez, I hope that Marin/Bennett is chillin' out in the big kids house with their son!

We are still playing the waiting game! (23 weeks, one day!) I hope that this week brings referrals, and that one of you who guessed that we'd receive ours sometime this upcoming week will be anxiously awaiting their prize!

Guessing Game...

2008-05-04T17:11:00.003-04:00

Since I feel like it's never coming, I hadn't planned on doing a referral predictor game; however, Melissa and Lisa, who have become very interested in Ethiopian adoption blogs, have convinced me to have a little bit of fun with the wait.

Here is how it works: Leave me a comment with the date that you think we will get our referral, and the gender of our child. The person who guesses the correct date(or closest to it) will get a VERY cool prize in their mailbox!! You can choose the same date as someone who has guessed before you, as long as your prediction is the opposite gender.

Have fun!!

5

2008-04-30T20:33:00.002-04:00

Months....21 weeks and 5 days since we officially went on our agency's wait list. I really hope it's going to happen soon for us!

We have changed our request from 24 months to 36 months. What a relief! I've been wanting to do this for quite a long time, but was waiting for Dan to make the level-headed decision. I could tell that he had been thinking about it since our dinner on Saturday night (previous post). He waited until Sunday night to tell me to call our agency in the morning. I immediately felt like an enormous weight had been lifted!

Send good thoughts our way!

Just What We Needed!

2008-04-26T21:32:00.003-04:00

I was commenting earlier today that I've never felt further away from our referral than I do right now. I definitely needed something to feel a little closer to Ethiopia and to kick me in the bum a little.

Tonight we had dinner with several couples in various stages of adoption using our agency. We met at a family's house who returned last year from Ethiopia with their 2 girls who are now 3 and 5. Joining us were a couple and their daughter who are leaving for Addis on Wednesday to pick up their 3-year-old son from Horizon House; a couple and their 2 sons, one of them who came home several months ago from Ethiopia; a woman who has just registered with our agency and us. Also joining us was a lady and her niece who are from Ethiopia and live 10 minutes from us!!

We had a lovely dinner of American and Ethiopian food. The children were adorable, and kept us well-entertained! The 5-year-old was fascinated to know that if we "get a picture of a girl baby" that she will share the same name as her, and that the baby will come from the same house as her! The lady from Ethiopia and I exchanged numbers, and she's coming over soon to teach me how to make her fabulous injera!

Yes, this is just what we needed!

Go

2008-04-22T20:12:00.004-04:00

Congratulate The Soucys!!! We are so happy for our dear friends Jess and Chris. We cannot wait to meet him!

Can You Believe This?!

2008-04-22T16:58:00.001-04:00

I began reading this article about other people who have adopted from Ethiopia using our agency. I felt really good reading it. It was great to read about people that we "know" from our Ethiopia Yahoo group and blogland. THEN I got to the comments section! You've got to read them for yourself to believe it! How sickening that we still have people that think like this!

Someday Soon....

2008-04-20T11:03:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I hosted a baby shower for my little sister, Sara. I cannot believe that she's going to be a mom in less than a month! I am very excited to become an auntie again!!

Here is a picture of the diaper cake that I made. I was pretty proud of myself! I am very thankful for Melissa's help though! This is a project that is definitely easier done with two sets of hands!

We are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Baby Allie! Sara is the type that wanted to be a mom ever since we were little girls. She will be a fantastic mother!

19 Weeks and Three Days...But Who's Counting??

2008-04-14T11:05:00.002-04:00

I swore that I'd be better about the wait! I drafted an ever-so-nice yet pretty frank e-mail to our Ethiopia Team Coordinator today asking just how close our estimations of being 3rd on the list (yes...third!) are. Dan quickly deemed the e-mail as "crazy and desperate" and told me to "go with the flow". I wanted to ask him if he'd ever met me!! In any case, I decided that he was right and have opted to attempt to go with some sort of 'flow'. We'll see!

We received our yellow fever vaccinations on Friday. I was pleasantly surprised that I only felt a little yucky on Saturday. By Sunday morning I was all better! Dan felt nothing from the shot. Lucky! With only one more vaccination each, and some oral vaccinations to start once the 10-day waiting period post yellow fever vaccinations, we feel ready to travel! (That was definitely a hidden shout to the universe....."We're ready to bring our baby home....so have someone call us!")

18 Weeks and 1 Day

2008-04-05T08:47:00.005-04:00

Waiting stinks. Shopping helps. Hey, the baby will need clothes, right?! Check out the latest purchase! The baby's mom will need clothes too?? I couldn't resist this t-shirt. I've been wanting it for so long! Yes, shopping does help!

4 Months

2008-04-03T14:55:00.002-04:00

We've been waiting a little over 4 months now. Based on the estimate we were given, we should have a referral by May 31, but we'd be happy with a referral before the end of June, which seems to be the unofficial cutoff to be included in a travel group before the court closures.

I found a cool website a couple of weeks ago that tests your knowledge of the names of all 53 African countries. I've become a bit obsessed with it, and kept trying, studying the list, and re-trying until I got all of them. Give it a shot!

Here's a recent picture of Avery. I can't believe she's already 6 months old!

What a Sap!

2008-03-26T18:34:00.002-04:00

So check out Dan's cousin Amanda's latest post. I just love how she mentioned Marin/Bennett in her blog. It's so nice to know that other people think about her/him too! Geez, I can't wait until the name is shorter and we have a little toddler running around in our house!

Also, we picked up an ergo carrier last weekend. I'll post some pictures soon. I really think I'm gonna love it!

Tagged!

2008-03-20T19:46:00.006-04:00

Okay. I've been tagged by Lisa. I'm supposed to tell you 100 things about myself. Wow! Pretty tall order. Here goes!

1. I'm a great big sap.
2. I've been accused of liking animals more than humans.
3. I whole-heartedly believe that I am married to the world's best man!
4. I love my job and the kids that I work with, although I get beat up by them nearly every day.
5. I guess I love what my job is supposed to be, not the politics that make it what it is right now.
6. I fear that when we meet our child, he/she will not warm up to us.
7. I'd be heartbroken if that happens.
8. I'll be a little sad when I'm not working with kids with autism anymore.
9. I wish I were closer in distance to all of my grandparents.
10. My Grammy and Grampy Maguire have the kind of marriage that want forever!
11. My dad is my hero.
12. I love the movie Untamed Heart.
13. I used to watch it over and over with Jenni!
14. I love it when my friends read my blog.
15. Even if I keep them updated on our adoption on the phone and when we get together.
16. I have the best in-laws that anyone could ask for!!!
17. I love, love, love red wine.
18. I also love tequila!
19. My mom raised me all by herself until I was 4. I will always admire her for her courage!
20. I really love stinky cheese.
21. Even before we decided to adopt, I've always been intrigued by adoption.
22. My hubby's side of the family is becoming very diverse with this generation and I love that our baby will be part of the change!
23. I can't wait to meet the baby in my sister's belly.
24. Sushi and sashimi are my favorite!
25. Most of my best friends have been in my life since 8th grade or before that!
26. I want to be that hippie mom that makes all of her baby's food herself.
27. I absolutely love to garden.
28. But a lot of my inside plants died this winter.
29. I can't wait until Sex and the City becomes a movie on May 30th!
30. May 30th is also the date that we will have been officially waiting for 6 months.
31. I really hope we get a referral before that!
32. I love babysitting my niece after work during the week.
33. I cannot wait to meet my baby!
34. I think about Marin/Bennett almost all day long!
35. I've recently started making Maggie's cookies, and have vowed to not buy them at the store anymore!
36. I met Dan in 3rd grade.
37. I have to get up at 4am for work.
38. I fantasize about Ethiopia every day.
39. I'm a music junkie.
40. I desperately want to start the baby's life book, but am scared that it won't come out good.
41. I promised my dog that I won't love her any less when the baby comes.
42. I don't understand it when people just give animals away after they've had them for pets.
43. Animal cruelty is as punishable as crimes against human beings.
44. I love to lounge on the beach and listen to the waves.
45. I love family get togethers with Dan's family.
46. I love how our family is being created.
47. I love to try new recipes.
48. I love cuddling with my husband more than almost anything.
49. I miss my Grandmothers doberman, Kamcee.
50. We bought our house from people who built it and only lived in it a few months before divorcing.
51. It was a blank canvas in terms of decorating and landscaping. We got to do whatever we wanted to it.
52. We still have a lot of landscaping to do!
53. I wish I knew some of my neighbors better.
54. But I love that we all wave to each other when we pass.
55. I'm such a pessimist. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
56. I really hate that about myself, and am trying to change it.
57. I'd love to have another dog, but fear that I wouldn't love it as much as I love The Maggs!
58. Dan is almost as crazy about her as I am, but won't admit it!
59. I cried at work the day we found out we were officially on the wait list.
60. Everyone thought I was teary because we got a referral!
61. If "the call" comes while I'm at work, I'm leaving immediately.
62. I one time told my parents that I had to do inventory in the kitchen at my high school job, and snuck out with friends and stayed out all night long.
63. I got caught and embarrassed in front of all of those friends.
64. And the owner of the company I worked for the next day. My mom called them in the middle of the night!
65. I want to travel all over the world.
66. But I get homesick VERY easily.
67. I remember struggling with infertility as being one of the worst times in my life.
68. I'm SO glad it happened, and wouldn't change it!
69. I can't wait to start our 2nd adoption right after the 1st!
70. I wish I had the motivation to exercise more.
71. I worry about not having a lot of diversity in our small town.
72. I want to do something to change the world someday.
73. While in the community with our kids (at work) we deal with a lot of rudeness. This makes me super mad.
74. But we deal with even more acceptance, which warms my heart.
75. I have a difficult time with people who think they've better than others.
76. If my husband and finances agree, I'd like to have 4 kids.
77. I love old school rap music.
78. I want to learn so much more about politics.
79. I have the greatest family in the world.
80. I regret never moving to a big city, then returning to Maine to raise my family.
81. I wish we lived closer to the city now.
82. But I love living on 3 acres with trails, and the river next to my house!
83. I've never had a lazy day where I've stayed in bed and watched movies in my jammies all day.
84. I'd really like to do that someday.
85. My hair is naturally curly, and I straighten it every day.
86. I get jealous easily.
87. I'm working on that.
88. My sister-in-law is also my best friend.
89. I introduced her to her husband.
90. It's the only time I've ever played match-maker.
91. I cannot wait to introduce my new baby to my family!
92. I can't wait to see Dan as a dad!
93. I am confident in my ability to be a mom.
94. I love Friends, and have seen every episode.
95. I am so, so happy for people when they get referrals!
96. It is harder than I thought to come up with 100 things about yourself!!
97. My family says I use the words "totally" and "like" too much.
98. I am learning how to be confident in my decision making process.
99. I am so thankful for the adoption community. Everyone rocks!
100. I worry too much.

Okay...wow, very difficult. I'm tagging Jess , Jennifer and Melissa. Have fun!

Painting, Pancakes and List Movement

2008-03-16T07:21:00.004-04:00

We've (meaning Dan!) finally finished painting the nursery. It's certainly been too long from start to finish for this project! A bad color choice and painting-related concussion slowed the process down quite a bit! I'm so in love with the color, and am glad that we changed it. (Even if it was mid way through, and a perfectly good can of paint was wasted.) We're so excited to hang things up on the walls, and find out who our baby is so we can add bedding, a new light fixture and window treatments! This was our version of compromise since I wanted to wait until our referral to do everything, and Dan wanted this nursery long before the baby came!

As you can see, my hubby and even Maggie worked hard on this project. Thanks,Guys!

This weekend was Maple Syrup Weekend at our local sugar house. It had to be renamed from Maine Maple Sunday due to Easter being that day. We braved the weather, and headed out bright and early. We got to eat a nice breakfast of homemade whole grain pancakes and coffee. We eat right in one of their greenhouses. We also took a tour of the farm, and watched the syrup making process. We kept saying (me all teary-eyed!) that it would be so much better next year when there is one more person with us! This is only our second year doing this, but we plan to do it every year!

There have been three referrals that we know of between Thursday and Saturday! Our agency must be busy! This is good news for everyone! Of course for the families getting the referrals, but also for us moving up on the list! Congrats to all of the families receiving good news, and to those leaving soon for Horizon House to meet their babes!

Thank God For Injera!

2008-03-14T15:57:00.011-04:00

Last Saturday we had lunch at an Eritrean/Ethiopian restaurant in Portland, called Asmara. We’ve talked several times about eating there, and we were very anxious to have some more Ethiopian style food after our trip to Addis Red Sea with Chris & Jess a few weeks ago. Asmara occupies a very small space on Oak Street. There are 5-6 booth style tables decorated with African inspired table cloths, as well as a single mesob with a couple of chairs for people looking for a more authentic experience. We ordered a sambusa appetizer, and shared our entrees of chicken tibs, and a spicy beef stew (can’t recall the actual name). The food was excellent (Injera was better than Addis Red Sea in my opinion), and our server/cook was very friendly.

We ended up talking to her about Ethiopia, Eritrea, and told her about our upcoming adoption. Toward the end of our meal, a lady and her two children sat down to eat, and appeared to be acquainted with our server. We were soon introduced, and found out that the two children (11 & 12 years old) had been adopted from Ethiopia two years earlier. They all asked several questions about our adoption, and the children seemed to be thrilled that we were going to Ethiopia.

It’s days like this that make the wait a bit more bearable. It’s funny how small things like interacting with other adoptive families, eating Ethiopian food, and buying artwork (we’ve bought a couple of pieces recently from Ethiopian Reflections on E-Bay) make us feel closer to our child. Referrals have been extremely slow in the last month, so we’re hoping to see some movement very soon! Congrats to travel group 60!

Time Keeps on Ticking, Ticking, Ticking......

2008-03-10T17:42:00.009-04:00

.....And still no baby. No news of a baby. Not even a referral for a baby in our age group for several weeks! So rather than dwell in self-pity, or complain a whole bunch, I'll show everyone some of the other wonderful babies in our lives.

Avery Grace Stone is probably the happiest baby in the world. (Except when she is fooling her Auntie Tiffy in to feeding her more milk than she needs, or she's being strapped in to her car seat!) I'm so thankful that I get to see her as often as I do. She certainly makes waiting for Marin/Bennett a little easier!

Sofia Mae Andrade is our little brute! At 6 months old, she is already sitting up, rolling over, and very soon, I suspect she'll be crawling. She's always looking for things to put in her mouth, including her cousin Avery!

Jaeden Keith Guerierro is the newest edition to our extended family. You're probably looking a a future quarterback! He was born almost a month ago at 10pounds, 14 ounces!! Check out all of his hair! He is already picking his head up, and makes a TON of noise when he's eating! Jaeden's mom really hopes that we get a Bennett so that Jaeden doesn't continue to be the only boy.

As you can tell, It's been a busy season for babies in our family! Pretty soon, my sister Sara will have her daughter, and I have a couple of close friends who will be delivering this summer and fall! Holy babies! Let's hope for a new baby Knott and a bundle of joy from Ethiopia to make things even more busy!

Dear Mother Nature

2008-03-01T21:35:00.002-05:00

Dear Mother Nature,

I am writing today to ask you for no more snow. It is not that I don't think that 7-foot snow banks are beautiful, or that I don't love my hard-working husband tracking snow all through the house after spending close to an hour clearing snow from the driveway, but it's time to move on. I'll settle for a month of rain as long as there is no more snow, and the wet month is followed by some sunshine, some flowers and a few days that we can walk along the beach sans snow boots! To show my gratitude, I'll gladly purchase more eco-friendly cleaning products and attend the organic gardening class being held at the local high school this month. I'll begin composting with the composter that I've been meaning to buy for the past two years. I'll plant many beautiful flowers in my gardens and I'll plant more than one tree this earth day. (As long as I can dig into the frozen ground!)

Thank you very much for your consideration,

Tiffany Engelhardt

Ain't Nothin' But a "g" Thing, Baby!

2008-02-28T19:04:00.005-05:00

So, I definitely wish I could take credit for this title, but I only added a word to the end of Sadie's title. I'm sure that She, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg won't mind!

I know it's a little (okay, way) premature, but I felt the need to purchase something baby- related, so I bought these...

We've been thinking for quite awhile about cloth vs. disposable diapers. These are the perfect solution. I'm assuming that since our request was for a baby 0-24 months, that we'll get a referral for a baby between 18-24 months; so I'm not quite sure how long we'll be needing these, but I figure that for each of these diapers, that's one less that will be sitting in a landfill for 500 years! These are so great. You can flush the little inserts, or compost the ones that are not filled with poo! Let's hope they'll have a little bum to fill them soon!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2008-02-26T17:11:00.004-05:00

When we were preparing all of our dossier materials, I used to think to myself: "Once everything is in Ethiopia, I'll feel better about just waiting." I thought that I could be one of the few who kept herself busy while she waited that measly 6 months. Wrong. Very wrong. I seem to go in stages. For a few weeks I'm at peace with the fact that our referral will come when the baby that is meant for us is ready. Then I have another few weeks where it just seems to be taking forever, and I can't seem to think beyond Dan and I, and our family who desperately wants this child home with us! I do things like over-analyze the color of the baby's room, or freak out about diapers, or do endless research about preparations that I haven't thought about for when we finally bring him or her home! I'm anxious for this wave to be all done, and to move on to the at-peace-stage!

It's a good thing that I've got awesome friends like these girls to keep me busy and amused!

In this picture are: Kelly, Kristen, Me, and Rachel. Marielle took the picture;Pam and Jess couldn't make it this day. I've known most of these girls since before high school and they are still such great friends. It's so weird that we're all growing up, having babies, celebrating great relationships, making wedding anniversary plans and enjoying successful jobs! It seems like just yesterday we were picking out our high school classes, or deciding which bar to begin our night. These days, we're comparing cribs, discussing cloth vs. disposable diapers, which career path to follow, or our latest vacations! I'm dying to know at which point did we become grown-ups?!

We (well, Dan!) began painting the kiddo's room a couple of weeks ago. I promptly decided that I hated it, and picked out another color. He took it like a champ. As if painting was his all time favorite hobby! We'll start re-painting this week! The crib is all set up, and the matress is coming this week also. We'll wait until we know who our baby is before we buy the bedding. I can't wait to get the walls painted so I can decorate!!

Are We All Ethiopian?

2008-02-25T14:19:00.004-05:00

I found this article through a Google search and found it to be pretty interesting. It summarizes a theory that suggests that all humans evolved from an ancient group of explorers that left Ethiopia around 100,000 years ago. Kind of cool to think about:

DNA studies map human migration

The pattern of genetic mutations offers evidence that an ancient band of explorers left what is now Ethiopia and went on to colonize most of the world.

By Karen Kaplan Los Angeles Times Staff Writer February 22, 2008

Scrutinizing the DNA of 938 people from 51 distinct populations around the world, geneticists have created a detailed map of how humans spread from their home base in sub-Saharan Africa to populate the farthest reaches of the globe over the last 100,000 years.

The pattern of genetic mutations, to be published today in the journal Science, offers striking evidence that an ancient band of explorers left what is now Ethiopia and -- along with their descendants -- went on to colonize North Africa, the Middle East, Europe, southern and central Asia, Australia and its surrounding islands, the Americas and East Asia.

A second analysis based on some of the same DNA samples corroborated the results. Those findings, published Thursday in the journal Nature, demonstrated that the greater the geographic distance between a population and its African ancestors, the more changes had accumulated in its genes. The story of human migration revealed by DNA "complements what's known through history, linguistics or anthropology," said Jun Li, a University of Michigan human geneticist and lead author of the Science study.

Both research groups relied on DNA from blood samples collected by anthropologists around the world as part of the Human Genome Diversity Project, a controversial effort from the mid-1990s to gather genetic specimens from thousands of populations, including many indigenous tribes. Previous studies have relied on data from the International HapMap Consortium, which cataloged DNA from 269 people of Nigerian, Japanese, Chinese and European descent. "Instead of saying a particular person's genome is from Africa, this kind of data allows us to say which part of Africa they were from," said Andrew Singleton, chief of the molecular genetics section at the National Institute on Aging in Bethesda, Md., and senior author of the Nature report.

In both studies, the researchers analyzed more than half a million single-letter changes among the approximately 3 billion As, Cs, Ts and Gs that make up the human genome. Those changes -- called single nucleotide polymorphisms, or SNPs -- begin as random mutations and accumulate over time as they are passed from one generation to the next. Each time a small group left its home territory to found a new population, the migration ultimately led to a unique pattern of SNPs. Comparing those patterns, the researchers were able to show that humans spread around the globe through a series of migrations that originated from a location near Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

With the expanded DNA data set, Li and his colleagues were able to make finer distinctions among groups that were previously treated as homogeneous. In Europe, for example, the researchers were able to distinguish between Orcadians from present-day Scotland, the French, Tuscans and northern Italians from what is now Bergamo, Italy. In the Far East, population geneticists had previously surmised that northern and southern Han Chinese were distinct populations and that the Japanese islands were populated by northern Han. "Now we have direct evidence that that's true," Li said. Singleton's group also studied collections of SNPs called haplotypes that tend to be inherited en masse, as well as DNA segments known as copy number variants that appear with different frequencies in different individuals.

By creating a catalog of normal genetic variability among different groups of people, the studies will help medical researchers pinpoint the role of genes in specific diseases, said Singleton, whose lab is part of the National Institutes of Health. A third study, also published in Nature, compared SNPs in 20 European Americans to those in 15 African Americans and found that, on average, a higher proportion of the European American SNPs were likely to be harmful. Overall, the African American genomes had more SNPs, reflecting the fact that they are descended from an older population, said senior author Carlos Bustamante, an assistant professor of biological statistics and computational biology at Cornell University.

By using a computer algorithm, researchers determined that 12% of the SNPs unique to African Americans were "probably damaging," compared with 16% of the SNPs found only in the European Americans. He and his colleagues surmised that the discrepancy could be traced to the relatively small and homogenous group that first inhabited Europe. Any harmful mutations they brought with them would have spread more quickly through the isolated group. Such effects have been observed in European subgroups, such as Ashkenazi Jews and Icelanders, Bustamante said. The results suggest that larger populations could be vulnerable to "founder effects" as well, he said. The studies were funded by the NIH, the National Science Foundation and private foundations.

karen.kaplan@latimes.com

Addis A-Boston

2008-02-17T07:48:00.013-05:00

We went to Boston yesterday with the Soucys. We all had a blast! We boarded the Amtrak in the morning, and had a relaxing ride to Beantown. After a quick lunch, we did some shopping in town. Marin/Bennett got a set of beginners chopsticks (which we felt was pretty important because of his/her parent's love for sushi!), and a really cool jacket! The jacket was a pretty monumental purchase because it was the very first thing that we have purchased that is NOT gender neutral! (If it ends up being Bennett, he'll rock the jacket. I'm not so sure it would look good on a Marin!) Baby C. got the jacket as well. Hmm...maybe we'll have some matching jacket photo sessions in the near future!

We followed the shopping with some drinks and great conversation at a cool Irish Pub. From there we hopped in a cab to Addis Red Sea, the Ethiopian restaurant in Boston!

The restaurant was such a great experience! From the moment we walked in, we felt very welcomed. The staff there was incredible. The host immediately offered to take our pictures when he saw that we were wicked cool with our cameras out! Our server was so beautiful. She answered all kinds of questions that we had about the (way cool!) art work that they had, about making injera and other dishes. She even translated a couple of phrases for us! Jess and I both got a little teary-eyed a couple of times while we were there. It was such a beautiful place, everyone was so nice, and I know I sure felt like this was the closest thing to Ethiopia and my baby that I could possibly imagine for now.

The wine, beer, dessert and the food were amazing! (I swear, I'm not just saying that!) I was actually a little fearful that I wouldn't enjoy the food! It was served in such a cool way, and it all tasted great! We definitely will plan a trip back before we all head to Addis (hopefully!) this summer, and of course many trips back with Baby C. and Marin/Bennett!

After dessert, we hopped in a cab back to North Station (after a detour to the north end, which I'm not so sure was a mistake!) and made it just in time for the final boarding call back to ME!

We had such a great time on our little excursion. The Soucys are wonderful people that we immediately felt a connection with. It's so great to have friends that can relate to what we're experiencing. We look forward to many momories with you guys!

Crib: Check!

2008-02-10T08:35:00.000-05:00

We have a crib! Let me preface this post by saying that I am the most indecisive person that I know. I knew that I wanted either a white or a black crib. I also knew that I wanted a crib that would convert to a toddler bed and to a full-sized bed. (This is pretty important, since our age range goes to 2 years, I have no idea how long we'll actually be in a crib.) I was thinking that white could be fine for a boy as a crib, but would be tricky as a bed. So black it was. Luckily, I only had 6 cribs to choose from in black. My mom finally made the decision for me when I couldn't decide between two of them. We ended up with this crib! It's not a great picture on the website, but I'm very happy with it. I'm hoping to put it together today, so look for pictures!

The next big decision is paint color. I'm thinking blue or green. I know that blue typically isn't a girly color, but Melissa did it for Avery's room, and it looks great! I'm also thinking that a light greenish would look great paired with pink if we get a girl. (I know if we get a girl, I'm going to want to add tons of pink!) Sadie had the great advice to just pick a color, and go with it! I'm thinking that's what I'll need to do, or else this babe will have white walls!

Suggestions appreciated!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot!

2008-02-04T18:00:00.001-05:00

I'm typically not a baby when it comes to shots, but today was a different story! I only got 3 today. (Polio, meningitis and hep A). Dan has had several at his primary care doctor's office already, (meningitis, hep A, hep B and tetanus) so he only needed the polio vaccination today. We need to go back in about a month for the yellow fever vaccine and the rest of the hepatitis series. We also ordered our oral typhoid medications that we'll take soon.

The travel nurse and doctor were super nice and gave us all kinds of advice about traveling to Africa. (Don't pat the dogs or monkeys, don't eat the fruit or drink the water, etc.)

No new baby news. Our agency sent out yet another weekly update without any new referral info. On a happy note, another travel group was assigned though, so more babies get to come home!

Check out Biggie in the dryer. He snuck in while I was switching the laundry!

I haven't posted a picture of Maggie in quite a long time! I had to promise her that when the baby comes I'll love her just as much as I do now! I really do love this girl!