My blood, that is! We've been hit with many insensitive (or downright stupid) questions/comments during this adoption process. It's cool, I almost expect it at this point-we deal with it and move on. Today, a coworker said to me, "See, it doesn't matter that you couldn't have one of your own. " My own. After I picked up my jaw from the floor, I explained to her that we, in no way, consider our son less than our own. Or something like that. I'm not upset that this particular person said this to me; I'm upset that a good portion of the general public believes that adoption is a great second choice for having your own. This terminology, more than anything else, makes me cringe and makes me sick to my stomach. If you've ever spent more than 2 minutes with this gorgeous, wacky, quirky little boy, you're left with no doubt that this kid is our own!!!
11 Comments:
Now I'm boiling too! That second-best-ism really makes me want to scream. I'm sure it's a similar feeling to the one I had when we announced to some friends that we were going to adopt (yay!) and they said 'oh, I'm really sorry to hear that'. And it was really easy to tell that they were thinking that adopting would be some kind of consolation prize for not having a proper family. Which is so silly.
Go and enjoy some time with your beautiful boy!
I second the last comment and think your family is the cutest! My husband and I have chosen to adopt and never tried to have children otherwise ... people whisper to me that they hope I have a child of my "own" and I just want to smack them! What is worse is that they don't seem to get it when I say these children will be my own. They always say, well, you know what I mean - no I don't!
Petros is a cutie pie!
um hello! And what about those that can have bio kids and choose not to because they prefer to adopt? Why do people always assume that if you adopt you can't have bios?
Though I admit- I'm always quick to tell people that we've decided to adopt first, and maybe have bios second. I think it's my way of saying "in your face" to people like your co-worker. Like "see, adoping is beautiful and so will be my baby" (if my dumb phone will ever ring... :)
Stay strong, Mama!
Hang in there! You decide how your family comes together, everyone else can mind their own business.
Oh boy, I need some ice water b/c I'm on fire! What a b&$#^!!!!! I'm glad you were calm enough to tell her off in a nice way. Lots of love to you guys.
Are you kidding me? Grr... I dislike the stupid people we work with!
My favorite comment is when people ask me if Anna & Carver are brother & sister....well, let's see....eric and i are their mother & father, so, in my book, that makes them brother and sister for the rest of their lives......if they like it or not! they are stuck with each other!!!
It just simply floors me that people are truly that ignorant to actually communicate something like that outloud. To a parent, no less! Such lack of intelligence. Of course Petros is your own and he is our own grandson no matter how he came into our lives. The best part is that we are all so deeply grateful and truly blessed that he IS in our lives and we would not have it any other way.
Tiff, I give you kuddos, I do not know if I could have been as polite if someone had said that to me. Give my grandson a big hug and kiss. :)
I hear ya, chica. I've had folks say similar things to me and also at least 5 different people have told me how lucky I am to not have kids via my own pregnancy because pregnancy is so bad apparently (from the same folks who know I've been through a long unsuccessful infertility battle and miscarriages). It's amazing how insensitive folks can be. Now when I refer to Jacob's sister, I've had 3 or 4 folks stop me and raise their eyebrows and ask if they're "real" siblings. *sigh* *hug*
I just found your blog tonight. Thanks for sharing your journey to Petros. What a beautiful name and a handsome boy.
He is your own! I'd be boiling too. We have one bio boy and we will be adopting in the next year or so - they will both be fully ours and both be fully siblings.
Thanks again!
Do people ever ask you why you didn't adopt an "American" child? I get asked that when I tell people about my sister's adoption. It makes my blood boil too.
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